Here’s what I’ve been dealing with this month. In the face of very real fear – the kind of fear a mother faces when an incidental finding on a CT scan suddenly becomes an incident in the life of her four-year-old child – I have had to examine how deeply I really trust my Heavenly Father. I praise Him when I see His provisions. I worship when I receive His wisdom. But do I trust Him, “Though [He] slay me”? When God, in His wisdom, lets me go far into the unknown to strengthen my faith, do I submit and willingly hand over my fears? I’m workin’ on it.

Nancy Missler writes, in Private Worship, the steps she believes we must take to truly enter “the beauty of His holiness.”

1 | Recognize     2 | Repent

3 | Release         4 | Read

So here I am saying, “I am not the master of my fate.” Or my son’s. Or anyone’s fate, for that matter. I cannot and will not find what I need within myself or the world. I. Need. God.

So while I may be troubled // perplexed // persecuted // or cast down, I am not distressed // in despair // abandoned // nor destroyed.

I choose to believe that God is for me. He will make a way.


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